Bloopers 1

You might think everything is "sweet and loving" with my kids...well, you are mistaken. I also have some bad times with them. Life is all about balance, remember? How can you appreciate happiness if you have not experienced sadness at one point in your life. But I'll skip the sadness part and proceed to the comedic aspects of my kids. My friends know my sixth sense is humor. So, it's no surprise if my kids have it too.

It was my daughter's first day in her new school. She was 5 years old then. As a good mom, I took the school bus with her and accompanied her to school. I was afraid she'd feel out of place since most of her classmates would have known each other from last school year's. My fear was she would have a hard time adapting. But that was not the case at all.

After her classes, we took the same school service and went home. (There were other moms, dads and yayas on the bus, by the way.) On our way home, kids were introducing themselves, telling stories about their parents, unconsciously, trying to impress one another. Parents were smiling because kids were finally showing their true colors...being talkative, inquisitive...and my daughter was no exception..shy as she was...she answered the questions being thrown at her without any hesitation...and would even volunteer information without being asked. These are some of the good examples of what i was referring to...this is as far as i could remember...

"Saan kayo nakatira?"

K: Sa Country Homes...sa Naga Road...pero kami lang ng mommy ko at ng mga brothers ko."

"Bakit nasaan ang daddy mo?"

K: Nasa Mommy Nya

Good thing the kids did not probe too much....however, i could feel the eyes of the other parents on me......

I don't know how the kids ended up talking about how they call their fathers...i was just surprised at how my daughter opened up so easily....

One kid said, "Ako Papa ang tawag ko..." and the other kids seconded..."Yes, Papa"..others said "Ako, daddy.....ikaw?" And they were looking at my daughter....

K:" Daddy din....daddy ang tawag namin ng baby brother ko sa daddy namin pero ang kuya ko tito E___ ang tawag sa kanya..."

And of course, they all asked, "Bakit?"

K: " Eh kasi iba ang daddy nya!!!"

And all eyes were on me, again......




Just the other day, when i was really weak with fever...i heard my eldest son reprimanding his younger brother....and a couple of minutes later, my youngest came to me crying and said, "Mommy, si kuya, sabi nya, matigas daw ang ulo ko."

M: Bakit, anung ginawa mo?
K: Ayoko lang ipahiram ang ballpen ko kasi winala nya ang celfone ko dati eh
M: Eh ballpen lang naman yun, ipahiram mo na
K: Eh yung celfone nga nawala nya..ballpen ko pa kaya?

(may katwiran naman ang bunso ko di ba?)

M: Pahiram mo na kasi ayoko ng maingay may sakit si mommy
K: Ayoko kasi sabi nya, matigas daw ang ulo ko...pag namatay ka daw hindi nya ko pag-aaralin!

(At talagang pinatay pa ko sa usapan nila!)

M: Niloloko ka lang nun
K: Eh ayaw kitang mamatay ( he was still crying)
M: Hindi pa baby
K: Pag namatay ka, akin na lang ang celfone mo ha..wag kay kuya! ( he was still crying!!!)

At this point, i really didn't know how to react - laugh... cry.... shout....all i could remember saying was, "Yes, baby"....and i went back to sleep.


.....

One Phone Call

I was sick the past 3 days....i thought i had dengue or maybe a damaged kidney...so much of those traumatic experiences of my office mates the past weeks...i thought i had them all...LOL

Yesterday, i was supposed to go out with friends but had to cancel the last minute because i had chills and fever. My kids woke up really early and stayed most of the time at my side even if i told them to stay out. They would peep once in a while and sit on my bed thinking i was asleep. I let them be..i was too weak to react, anyway. After a few minutes, they were off to school.

Thirty minutes later, my youngest was calling thru pay phone...i answered:

K: Mommy, kumusta ka na?
M: Ok lang baby
K: May sakit ka pa?
M: yes..why baby?
K: Gusto ko lang malaman...

And then he passed the phone to his sister...

KY: Mommy, imom ka ng gamot, naglagay ako ng water sa ref mo
M: Yes baby.. later
KY: Sige mommy, 26 seconds na lang
M: Ok..thank you
KY: I love you (her brother was shouting "i love you" in the background)
M: I love you too...
KY: Sleep ka na ulit mommy..wag kang aalis
M: Yes baby...bye

And i went back to bed thinking...what did i do right to deserve them? "smile"

..

Why Oh Why?

My friends ask me why do i need to blog...kanya kanya lang yan!!! Some people have journals a.k.a. diary, some have their blogs. It's my creative outlet..as you may say it. I don't write that very often because as a rule i only write when something's bugging me or there's something that i need to let out..like guilt, anger, addiction, fascination, confusion, and so on and so forth. It helps me....it somehow pacifies me. I'm not scared at how others will judge me based on what i write....i don't write for them, anyway. There's nothing in here that my closest friends don't know..so there's nothing to be afraid of. I write for myself....so that one day, i can read back and check how i felt at a particular time and see if my views and feelings have changed since then. It helps me cope...with my everyday struggle....and i tell you, there are a lot to struggle with in my life....but i try..try so hard to overcome them.....

..

Even GUYS love him too

Siewleng, let me borrow your vid..I just really couldn't stop laughing at this...guys shouting at the top their lungs "ZaiZai Hao Shuai..Hao Shuai..." (eng trans...Zaizai Very Handsome)...I watched it so many times..and those men just gave me the best laugh before i retire to sleep...hahahaha

Well, I really can't blame them....Vic Zhou Yun Min a.ka. ZaiZai is really "hao shuai"...

Blah Blah

You messed up yesterday
You said the wrong words
Took the wrong turn
loved the wrong person
Reacted the wrong way
You spoke when you should have listened
Walked away when you should have waited
Judged when you should have trusted
Indulged when you should have rested

You messed up yesterday...
But you'll mess up more
If you let yesterday's mistakes
sabotage today's attitude
Optimism goes a long way...
Every day gives you a chance to recover....


- text message of the day

Learnings from my kids

I did not grow up with my mom so when i became one myself 16 yrs ago,
I didn't have any idea on how to act as one.
My eldest suffered a lot of trial and error kind of upbringing.
Oh and did i mention I was separated from his father 2 yrs after he was born?
I was rearing him all alone...alone and clueless...that's how i was.


I can't say I'm a better mom now.
Now that i have 3 kids and still unmarried....single...and loving it.
But looking at my kids..how they grew up so fast...
how they managed to live with me through the years....
it amazes me how i, as a mother, can learn so much from them.
Throughout these years, they were the ones who taught me how to become better....
as a mom...and as a person.



From them, i learned forgiveness without having to forget the good and bad times...
I learned patience to the extreme level
I learned how to apologize even if it means being vulnerable
I learned to value my life...not only because my kids can't afford to lose me
But because I can't afford to leave them
I learned how to thank God for simple things
I see life through their eyes
No matter how complicated, they have the simplest take on it



Their "i love you's" complete me every time
Their hugs warm my heart and strengthen me
Make me realize how special i am
no matter how mediocre i am to others.....
I thank God for them...for lending them to me
For healing me through them
For the comfort my kids give me
For the love, importance and respect...
MY life is better...and will keep getting better because i have them...


"None of us can undo
What we've done, or
relive a life already recorded
But there is no such thing
as 'too late'."



.

Kat

Another good friend resigned. Another goodbye? Aissh!


I will miss you Kat...let me correct that...I miss you already. You know how slow I am in terms of reactions. LOL You already had your farewell dinner last Thursday and I still wasn't convinced that you were leaving. It didn't sink in until tonight. I was going over our pics that night and I started to feel sad.

I will miss our morning drives to the office...our chats on our way home to kill time..I will miss your laughter when i make jokes about everything..no matter how shallow, you'd still laugh about them. I will miss your hot tempered kind of driving...your reprimanding voice in the office. I will miss Mike texting me to look for you. I will miss our WL sessions in the morning and before leaving the parking lot. You've become part of my daily routine. I don't know how to shake it off the soonest possible time. Oh and not to mention i have to struggle my way to the office starting Tuesday. LOL

Sigh! I miss you na. :(

My daughter's hug

I was going over some old pictures a couple of nights ago, when my daughter started pulling out her baby pictures and her brother's from the album. They were having their little chat when all of a sudden my daughter asked, "Mommy, bakit hindi kayo nagpakasal ni daddy? Surprised as i was, i replied, "Ewan ko rin baby...hindi ko rin alam. Bakit?" "Wala lang kasi dalawa na ang anak nyo and hindi pa rin kayo nagpakasal". Honestly, i felt a little stab in my heart. Her innocense and honesty combined not to mention how comfortable she feels when she talks to me about absolutely everything on earth, makes me feel very special... Even with those words she said..which almost broke me to tears.... Not because i was hurt but moreso because, i knew the answer but would rather keep it to myself, for now. Then i told her, "Baby, galit ka ba?" "Hindi po". "Sorry, baby kung hindi ko kayo nabigyan ng magandang family. I'm sorry. But I love you." "Hindi naman ako galit. Masaya naman ako eh. Kasi nakikita ko naman si daddy lagi. Yung iba nga hindi eh." And she gave me a warm hug which took away all my fears that night.

Reminiscin Blues

I hate goodbyes...

I hate it yet i had quite a number of experiences on it. Goodbyes vary. It depends on how and why you have to do it. But in any case, whether you're leaving your friends from a long time job or a partner because the relationship doesn't seem to work out anymore, whether you're left behind or the one walking out the door, goodbye seems so hard to do. It'll leave you with so much pain because you either hurt someone or hurt by someone.

How about goodbyes which were not uttered at all? It was not how we meant things to end...but goodbye caught us somewhere along the way.

Maybe it was the kind of goodbye i had with my closest friends in the past. Friends from childhood...teenage years...friends i shared history with....a long history at that. They are those i played dolls with, those who kept me company for long hours playing outdoor/street games, i.e. piko, patintero, taguan,football, tumbang preso, etc. They are the ones I grew up with...with whom I shared my secrets such as first crush, first love, first kiss and first heartache. They were there during my 7th and/or 18th birthdays. They were my friends..my childhood friends.

Somewhere along the way, as circumstances were rude, I or they had to leave...could be...to pursue a dream..or just plainly, live a different life.

There were no goodbyes said...nor promises made....but somehow we believed that no matter how much distance...our friendship survives.

Though i was wrong...i may have not been exactly right either...because somewhere in that distance, and the number of years we grew apart..a number of significant things and events happened to me and them..both joy and sorrow...i was not there for and with them...and i would have not known anything about theirs...i wasn't informed...i was out of the loop...and vice versa.

Now when i try to look back, i see a big gap...a gap thay may never be filled in...the gap consists of all the years we grew apart, the thousand miles that distanced us..the longing..the fear, that maybe we've totally lost the things we did share in common in the past...and sadness...that i may not know them anymore...

One last kick on Nights In Rodanthe

Ok, i watched the movie Nights in Rodanthe, online. And I'm right...this time, I'm neither tired nor sleepy...the movie is different from the book. I know that there's such a thing as artistic influence..but I felt like the characters, Adrienne and Paul, are no longer the characters described in the book. I don't know, is this an affirmation that the book is really that bad that another script with revisions on some of the characters' elements as well as the issues at a given situtation had to be made??? I wonder how Mr. Sparks reacted?

In all, I can't say the movie is bad. It's a little dragging...but I'm a visual person so i survived it. It's a mid-life love story....sort of reminds me of the Bridges in Madison County. The theme is the same...circumstances made a lil different...but the ending is the same....separation....death.....eternal love...

Let me move on to Twilight.....until then...

Morning Blues...Tamad kasi!

I woke up feeling gloomy today...tis the last day of my 5 day vacation. Well, I actually only tagged 2 as VL and the other 3 as rest days. Last night, i stayed up really late because I would like to savor the last night I could stay up that late without having to worry about the next day...and today, I still have to run some more errands...I want to be home in no time...my kids will be back from school really early...so, I want to stay with them...

Sigh!!!

I just finished reading Nicholas Sparks' Nights in Rodanthe. I didn't like it...a cry baby as i am, i should say, there was not a single part of the book that moved me. Though i find a lot of parallelisms between me and Adrienne, and i mean a lot, the book just failed to take me along with its ride. Towards the end of the book, I found myself, not reading but browsing at more important details. Aside from the fact that i can very well relate to Adrienne, there was nothing else that fed my emotional and intellectual curiosity....I kinda feel bad because this is the second book in a row that i didn't quite enjoy. The first one was Twilight, mainly because of its shallowness. I'm sorry to all the "twilighters" but i just wasn't hooked the way i expected I would be before i started reading it. As a matter of fact, I didn't finish the book. Good thing i did not buy the rest of the series before hand. Maybe, it's meant for the youngsters...well, to each his own, i must add.

Well, since i did not enjoy the book, NIR and Twilight, I might take a chance seeing the movie version and see if I'd be happy....i hope i'd have a better experience...

I started watching NIR online...and I'm a little confused...it just is not the same with the book....maybe, I'll watch again tomorrow...I might as well rest now....

Il Mare (The Sea)

• Alternative Title: Siwolae, Siwora, The Sea
• Genre: Drama, Fantasy , Romance
• Korea Casts:
  Gianna Jun, Jung-Jae Lee

• Description:
  

  From director Lee Hyun Seung comes Il Mare, the 2000 time-travel romance featuring My Sassy Girl's Jeon Ji Hyun in a starring role! This touching sci-fi love story centers on Han Seong Hyun (Lee Jung Jae, from Typhoon and Last Present), an accomplished architect who moves into his father's beach house, only to find himself put in the most extraordinary of circumstances. After dubbing the place "Il Mare" ("The Sea" in Italian), Seong Hyun receives a mysterious letter from a woman named Kim Eun Joo (Jeon Ji Hyun). Strangely, the letter is addressed to the person who will live in Il Mare after Eun Joo leaves, a puzzling statement considering the fact that Seong Hyun is the very first person to ever live in the house!

  Believing it to be some sort of a prank or perhaps just a misunderstanding, Seong Hyun initially disregards the anomaly, only to find himself drawn into correspondence with Eun Joo. But as the two begin conversing through exchanged letters, they eventually discover that their situation is as remarkable as it is downright unbelievable. It seems that Eun Joo is actually living in 1999, a full two years ahead of the time in which Seong Hyun resides! Disbelief gives way to amusement and intrigue as the two continue their correspondence, eventually falling for one another. But when these two strangers decide to meet up, they soon discover something that neither quite expected. Will there be a happy ending for these two? Can love cross the boundary of time? Find out in Il Mare, the award-winning Korean film that inspired the 2006 U.S. remake starring Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock!

• Source mysoju.com

Review done by Mark Flora @ KFCCinema.com in March 2002

Review: Beautifully written and painstakingly charming, Il Mare is a romance movie that breathes life into a genre that has too many similar plots. I don't want to come off as a cold-hearted moron who thinks romantic movies are too cliched, please don't think of me as that? Simply put it this way, Il Mare is the kind of movie that leaves you utterly breathless. When you're done watching it, you just sit there and ponder on things you never knew you would think about. After the "fade to black," I lied there on my bed just watching the ending credits because I didn't want it to end. I'm sure all of you have felt this way either after watching My Sassy Girl or Fly Me To Polaris. I know these two movies are considered to be far and away instant classics in Asian Cinema, but Il Mare also has that sense of prestige that made the other two movies so lovable. And after watching this movie, I guarantee with all my heart and soul, you'll love this movie as much as I did.

The most noteworthy reason why this film is so magnificent is the subtleness in the plot. The whole story revolves around a very surreal seafront house that seems hidden and aloof from the crowded world. In all ways is this splendid little house a magical dream come true. There's a long, winding boardwalk to the front door and an exit that leads to the ocean. I can't say enough about how unbelievably pure and perfect this house becomes throughout the movie. When the time comes to actually "meet" our couple, you're already caught in the folds of bliss that has engulfed your imagination. And to think, the house itself is just a mere backdrop, or backbone if you will, to the couples' substantial relationship. When I say "relationship," I get a feeling of irony. The couple never really meet up in the movie, instead, they are entangled in a love letter type scheme that dips its wet feet into the world of sci-fi. The couple are writing letters to each other while living in the same world in two different times. Sung-hyun (Lee Jung Jae) is an aspiring architect who moves into his new home only to find a "welcome" letter from the previous owner. Eun-joo, played by the beautiful Jun Ji-hyun of My Sassy Girl, is the previous owner of Il Mare. She receives a letter from Sung-hyun that simply turns both their worlds upside down. It appears Eun-joo lives in the year 1999 and Sung-hyun in the year 1997.

As farfetched as the plot may seem, director Lee Hyun-seung never seems to disappoint. At first I felt this was going to be too difficult to understand because of the whole "wrinkle in time" idea. However, the story does not dwell upon that too long. The film doesn't want you to go to great depths to understand the time barrier between the couple. What it does want you to come to terms with, however, is the idea that these two people are destined lovers that may or may not ever meet each other because of fate's weird obstacle course. And when you understand that, then you'll see how melancholic this cinematic exposure is. We see two people, two years apart from meeting one another, trying desperately to connect in other ways than writing. There are scenes where they seem to go on a date, but in reality, they are there alone only keeping the other in mind and spirit. I commend the beautiful arrangement, almost bouquet-like, of the director during these sequences. Viewers will begin to understand the true test of love and how it will conquer all. It was one of the most tantalizing experiences my eyes will ever know. It was almost as beautiful as Jingle Ma's superior work in Fly Me To Polaris. It was pure visual splendor and it will undoubtedly touch your heart in more ways than one.

I don't have to say anything about the performances of the two actors. But here's something that will sum it all up-Simply Amazing. The imaginative nature, the subtleness of the story, and the surreal love story between the characters is more than enough to make most of you buy this movie. Take into consideration the magical aura the film is manifested on and you got yourself a movie worth watching. In the past few months, thanks to Mr. Kwang and Korean writers, I've become a true-blue Korean movie lover. With entertaining movies like Il Mare, My Sassy Girl, and Guns and Talks under their belt, I hope we viewers are treated more to these soul-touching eye-candies. Believe me, Il Mare is another instant classic you'll want to experience at least once in your lifetime. And you'll probably say the same thing about the universal language of "love."

I saw "The Lakehouse" first before this movie. I must say, I had to rewatch LH before I could fully understand. I didn't know then, but i guess, i was lost somewhere in the movie. I like the movie, though. I cried..well, I'm a cry baby..i cry just about everything...

But when I saw this version, which is the original, by the way, i told myself, "i should have seen this first". It would have been better...The review above is correct, it was beautifully done...

The endings in both films were different, though. But i think, the Korean version's is better than the American version's....i just find it more logical for the lead actor to go back to the time when the lead actress would have left the house rather than the leading actor showing up in the driveway minutes after the lead actress, having heard of his death, placed her letter in the mailbox warning him of his death...do i make sense??? because i think i lost myself there....

Anyway, you should see both films to fully understand what I'm trying to convey here.

You can watch Il Mare in mysoju.com under the Korean Movie Category and go to your nearest Video Store and borrow The Lakehouse DVD, if you haven't seen it. I suggest, you watch IL Mare first.

Solo Parent Leave

Yes, I am a solo parent...a single mother. However you want to call it...bottom line is I'm alone rearing my children.

I was made aware of the Solo Parent Act early last year. I learned that as a solo parent, I am entitled to an additional Parental Leave (Solo Parent Leave) of not more than 7 days every year..that is on top of the leaves provided by the company. Having known this, I immediately went to DSWD within our municipality. DSWD is the government arm handling the solo parent act concerns, i was told. But i realized, enjoying the solo parent privileges will not come as easy. You have to submit some documents and secure a solo parent id of which you have to present to your employer so you will earn additional 7 days of leaves. The documents are not really that hard to secure. As a matter of fact, each should be just within your reach...like copies of your children's birth certificates, 1x1 id, certificate of employment, barangay certificate and an affidavit of circumstances of being SOLO parent. I would assume additional docs will need to be submitted depending on the circumstance of which you have become a solo parent, i.e. death, legal separation, annulment, etc. Last year, I was in the process of completing all the docs needed. Everything was going on smoothly except for one flaw that delayed my documentation for another year. I couldn't get a Barangay Certificate. I was told that since I was not a registered voter in our municipality, I couldn't get one...and there was no way to register last year since Comelec was closed for registration. It's petty yet it meant no additional 7 days for me last year...

So this year, as one of my 2009 projects, i need to have my solo parent id. So, i went again to the Barangay Hall this afternoon and inquired on how i can get a BC. I was informed that Comelec is now open for registration. The registration, actually, started Dec 2008 and will end Dec 2009. And register i did. It didn't even take me 2 hours to do so. So I was back in the Barangay Hall .




I have it with me now...the most elusive document of last year. Now, I've yet to complete the other requirements since the docs that i have from last year are already invalid. I vowed to myself to submit everything within this month because i was told, it's still going to take some time before they release the ID. There would be investigations, interviews, etc. But I'm fine with that since I still have my regular leaves with me.

By the way, for solo parents out there, just click on this link to get more info on the other privileges you can enjoy as a solo parent. Though you really have to be qualified to do so.

F4 Bambino

What's happening to FS? Is it going down. It took me 48 hours to post my latest blog and now that i have completed a new one, it won't let me save it...more than 48 hours had passed and it's still in my draft page.....

Whew! Anyway, I'm going to post it here and my future blogs will be here too. Hoping this new home will not kick me out, as well.

Cat, a good friend, sent me an SMS yesterday morning. She was planning to go to our dearest alagang Alex. Unfortunately, Sunday's my household help's day off, so i had to stay home with the kids. Plus, my eldest son and I planned a bonding session at 6pm, so there was really no way to join her... After my bonding session with my eldest, i managed to go online immediately. There was not much to do...that's how i want to believe it.....even if i bought 4 books from NSB a couple of hours back. The truth is, before i am able to read, i have to be in a certain mood. Not sure of what it is exactly...maybe more relaxed, no pressure kind of mood. So, i logged in to YT and watched my favorite F4 videos. LOL

As i was browsing..watching..buffering...browsing...I received another SMS from Cat..they watched a movie...the whole Anselmuccios with her...Aaaaw...i missed that one. I always find it enjoying spending time with Alex's family. They are very accommodating and they treat me/us like family.



I was still into my F4 videos when suddenly, I remembered my last night out with Alex and friends. It was December 20, Mommy M prepared a sumptuous dinner for us. After that, we, Alex and Friends, decided to drop by Starbucks and have some coffee. In the midst of our not so coherent conversations, one of us mentioned, Vic Zhou, and as I'm a big fan, i relentlessly started to update them on the latest..like Vic being Barbie's bf for 3 yrs...they separated last year...F4's concert in Japan last October, etc. I noticed Alex was listening but was unusually quiet..so i told him...sorry if he's feeling a little out of place. Then suddenly, the unexpected happened...he said he knows F4...and that F4 became really famous in Italy..and even sang "Show Me Your LOve" of Ken Zhu complete with Chinese lyrics...I was crying with amusement...and clapping at that. He knew the song...a chinese song...and as if that's not enough, he even sang "Can't Lose You" also in Chinese...you know, "Oh Baby..baby...baby..my baby...baby....(chinese lyrics)..I couldn't stop laughing....and crying...Alex was so hilarious! He told me stories on how F4 managed to capture his school life..but i'd rather not tell....LOL...but it's really cute knowing he was really young then...and you know how young people at school would imitate the ones famous, right? LOL But the thought that he still knows the lyrics made me giggle with amusement. He didn't know all the names, he just has this prescribed description of the 4, but we certainly understood each other. Our night did not just end there. We all went back to their house and surfed for F4 videos and he sang along with it..songs like "First Time", Jerry Yan's "I truly truly love you" and a song of Vanness which i was totally clueless of til that night, he knows... Alex, if you happen to read this, please don't get mad i shared a bit of our fun, ok? That was really a crazy night...an F4 crazy night!!!